The divide in the room was loud even though a word was not spoken. How can two people who stood in front of each other and committed to love each other through good and bad get to the point where the odds seem so stacked against them?
Growing up, we learn how to communicate and to ask for things in an environment that is our version of comfortable. Then, experiences shape us and form our story and we somewhat grow up and find someone we decide we want to share our world with. It feels like heaven and earth would fall apart if we could not be with this person.
Months, chores, dogs, washers & dryers, bills, kids, credit cards, vehicles, arguments, good & bad decisions later, we find ourselves staring at a person we once craved to look upon and asking ourselves why and how do we feel this way?
We pray, Lord, please help me. I can’t do this anymore. We feel alone. We cry out in pain. We try everything we can to make the other person see our position and we listen to them and try to find a way to work through hurt feelings, hurt words and sometimes things that to others might be the unforgivable in a marriage. What is right? What is wrong? Is there even a right or wrong? Where did it all begin and when did it start to feel this way?
If God were to come and visit us for the day, just as our friends would, and have lunch with us, I could imagine what he would say to us in these times.
And in times like this, it helps me find a way to get through these moments where it feels so bleak.
He would say you can’t change what has happened, you can only change what is to be. He would say, there is right and there is wrong, because we all fall short. and if you feel that you need to debate it, who is to be the judge? Who is the perfect one qualified to make someone else change? Is one action more right than another? We all hurt, we all have our pain and we all have our strengths. Together we are formed in his likeness and we are never alone. He would say, go back to the basics of what you know to be true. Because the never-ending list of what you think is true is just something that has happened and will be forgiven and forgotten.
He will say with me, there is: From now on. There is: God.